How to use me
I think it is important to take a moment checking up on yourself, figuring out how you are doing according to your own values. I recently spent some time introspecting to learn more about my own behaviours and how to be better at what I do. I want to share an insight I had about myself, and why I feel very uncomfortable in some situations. It is the insight of how to best use me.
What I love the most is co-creation. I am addicted to creating great outcomes together with others. Actually, I am unable to turn down good opportunities for this. I simply can’t say no. There is so much value for me (learning, growing, exploring), for the other person (learning, growing, exploring) and for the receiver of what we create (a product much better than any of us could create individually).
As a person I always like to help. I always try my best to support people that ask for it. I usually try pushing the request into co-creation, but sometimes that is not possible. I will create something for a colleauge that kindly asks me, but I know that the value in that product is less than if we would create it together. It is harder for me to learn, but I help someone else that doesn’t have time or the skill to create the product. Since they haven’t learnt anything either, they will ask me for the same thing next time, and they will ask for my support if there is a problem with the product I deliver. The product itself will not be better than what I can create alone (which is still pretty darn good if you ask me).
When I get told what to do I cringe. I don’t like it. I understand that it is sometimes necessary, especially if you are in chaos. I always seek to understand the reason for doing something, and what the bigger picture is. I often question the authority and find “because I say so” not being a reason for anything. I was not the most order obeying soldier during my military service (even though I think I was pretty reasonable). The product I create in this case is not the best quality, and usually only just enough to pass the requirements someone has dropped on my desk.
One of the worst ways of using me is to tell me what to do to others. This is like pushing my services onto someone else. I would never do it myself, because I only act on demand, a pull. Being in this situation I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I am being forced to do something I don’t like, and it doesn’t only affect me but also others, and I have to drag them down with me. I always object to the situation, or try to discover if there is a pull I can build on. If there is not, the product, my service applied on someone who doesn’t want it, is going to be really bad. Mostly pointless and a waste of time, and the worst part is that I will know that while doing the work.
These are insights about myself, but I think they apply to many others. I keep coming back to Daniel Pink’s Drive:
Autonomy, mastery and purpose is what drives people’s motivation. At the top of my story there is plenty in all three categories, at the bottom there is lack of all of them. When we build teams around highly motivated indivduals the products we create are so much better, the environment we work in is uplifting and we don’t have to complain to our family members when we come home from the office. My ask of you is to catch yourself when you are about to force a task on someone and consider the best way of doing it. It might take a little more effort, but the return on that investment is going to be huge in terms of quality of the product and personal growth.
