The art of possibility and self-leadership
One of the most powerful tools for leadership is self-leadership. Without it, leading a creative space is almost impossible. This post is a collection of valuable lessons on how to lead yourself.
I seldom reread books. One exception is the wonderful “The Art of Possibility” by Benjamin and Rosamund Zander. In the book, the authors present several lessons that are powerful tools for self-leadership. I periodically reread the book to remind myself, and I realize it is time to share these practices with you.
The framing for the book is Ben’s work as a director of the Boston philharmonic orchestra, and Rosamund’s work as a family therapist. They explain each practice with plenty of examples from their life and work.
If you haven’t already seen it, Ben’s 2008 Ted Talk will give you a taste of some of these practices, and a few laughs.
On to the practices. Even though all these might not resonate with you, spend a few minutes thinking about what they would mean in your context, and how you would apply them.
Enter a world of possibility
Stop comparing yourself with others. In the world of measure, we are trying to do things in comparison with others. We are measuring our success, compared to the rest of the world. Reframe it in the world of possibilities. Do away with the comparison and imagine that there are only possibilities. How will that change your perspective?
Everything is constructed
All humans are affected by biases. One of my favorite websites is Wikipedia’s list of cognitive biases. It reminds me that there is no one truth, and we all see things differently. Everything is constructed and realizing this helps you break out of the limits of other people’s constructs. What constructs are currently limiting you?
Giving an A
Instead of judging people, start by awarding them with an A, top grade. Always start with the assumption that they deserve the best grade, that they are top performers, and then ask them to act like it. More importantly, award yourself an A. Don’t enter the world of measurement where you compare yourself to others. Instead, remind yourself that you are doing great, and act like it. Consider someone you have doubts about, and consider how your relationship might change if you award them an A.
The game of contribution
As opposed to the game of winning, which is part of the world of measurement, the game of contribution is about maximizing your contribution and your impact. It is also the realization that you are a contribution to the world and you are making a difference for others. What was your latest contribution to someone?
Lead from any chair
The example in the book comes from the orchestra Ben is leading. He is not the only one leading it. There is a potential leader in every chair of that orchestra. The difference is that the conductor does not make a sound, the musicians are. You can lead in many different ways, and leadership is not about having an official role. I like this one because it reminds me to speak up and get involved in meetings and workshops where I see things going in the wrong direction, even if I am not the one facilitating. Consider your situation. How can you lead and inspire others from where you sit?
Remember rule number 6
This is introduced with the story of two prime ministers sitting in a meeting. Suddenly an agitated man rushes into the room, waving his arms and yelling. The hosting minister calms the man down and says “remember rule number 6”. The man nods fall silent and leave the room. The visiting minister is baffled and asks “what is rule number 6”? Easy — it means “don’t take yourself so goddam seriously”. “So what are the other rules?” “There are none!”.
Remembering rule number 6 helps me keep my feet on the ground and my ego deflated. It reminds me to approach things with humor and lighten up. It also helps me break free of selfish beliefs and invite others to my world. How could you apply rule number 6?
The way things are
This is an acceptance of that some things cannot be changed. They are simply as they are. I often share this practice with teams using an exercise like Circles and Soup. There is an environment around us that we just have to accept and deal with. There is no point in complaining about the weather, it is not going to change. Instead focus on the things we can control, or influence. This helps to move away from complaining and start focusing on the things we can change. What is the environment around you that you have to accept?
Giving way to passion
To me, this means choosing where I invest my time and engage fully where I am. It reminds me to go where my passion is, and to tap into that power. It is like connecting me to an electric outlet. It also reminds me of how hard it is to do a good job when you are not passionate about what you do. I shared some of my insights in an earlier post: How to use me. Life is too short to do things we are not passionate about. Where is the passion for what you do?
Lighting a spark
This is about connecting others to their passions. To help them find that power outlet. Their power source will probably not be the same as yours, so be open to people not being passionate about the same things as you. Instead, help them to uncover and connect to their passion. Invite them to find their passion, in the same way you have found yours. How could you share your passion?
Be the board
I am the framework for everything that happens in my life.
This is not about blaming yourself for everything, but rather realizing that you are responsible for everything that happens, and you can find the source for any problem within yourself. It is a reframing, realizing that if you have the source of the problem within you, you also have the solution.
This is probably the practice I struggle the most with. It is really hard to constantly seek solutions within yourself and taking full responsibility. I am too quick to blame the environment or other factors around me for a problem, but I have also noticed how that removes me from being part of the solution. Consider a recent problem you faced, how were you responsible for it happening, and how would you be part of the solution?
Creating frameworks for the possibility
This practice is about focusing on the framework that opens up for possibilities. It is about focusing on the space and not the particles. In the same way, I preach managers should manage a system and focus on the environment where others can see and make possibilities a reality. To me, much of this practice is to set bold visions and invite others to join on the journey towards realizing that vision. It is important to help others see how they are a contribution towards accomplishing the vision, and why it is important to the world. Consider what your current framework is, and how that opens up for possibilities.
Telling the story of WE
What do we want to happen here?
Words matter. Using words like we and us helps us focus on what we can achieve together. Moving away from you, I and them invite others to a common cause and to make a difference, together. It also helps to reframe the story to one that benefits us, instead of just one side. It is not about winning and losing, it is about making a difference. How could you reframe your current story to we?
Conclusion
Many of these practices overlap. Some are harder to practice than others, but all of them are thought experiments that will help you reframe your reality and be a better leader of both yourself and others. Even though I have tried to describe the practices in this post, and what they mean to me, I would highly recommend that you get a copy of the book. I listened to the audiobook where both authors read it with contagious energy.
